Home Satire AVW Newstime Comedy: Moms excited to spend more money on children this weekend

AVW Newstime Comedy: Moms excited to spend more money on children this weekend

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With the end of spring semester drawing near comes many students’ favorite weekend: Mom’s Weekend. Underage students find their way into bars, eat at the yummiest spots uptown and take wonderfully extravagant trips to Walmart, all thanks to their moms.

“Oh, dude I can’t wait for my mom to get here!” freshman Brian Summers said. “She’s gonna buy me so much beer.” We got in contact with Brian’s mother, Susan, who commented that she just couldn’t wait to see her little boy and spend some quality time with him.

When asked how she prepares for Mom’s Weekend, Susan said she doesn’t do anything out of the ordinary. She simply makes sure that she has enough money to fork over to her son because she knows he really needs it.  

Walmart employee Michelle White says the store always gets a lot of business on Mom’s Weekend.

“It’s really great for our company, but it’s just also really great to see these kids wringing out their mothers’ wallets for every last penny they have! It’s like they get to be five years old again! Except instead of asking for toys and games, they’re asking for liquor and Easy Mac! It’s heartwarming, really.”

Local bar owner Tom Higgins also commented, saying, “Mom’s weekend is awesome. These women drop tips left and right after spending their hard-earned money on a crappy airplane-sized bottle of wine that’s been sitting in our cabinets for like 11 months. I love it!”

Susan’s favorite part of the weekend by far is when she is asked to do some of the basic housework. “I just know my daughter is going to ask me to mop her kitchen floors again this year! I can’t wait.” She exclaimed.

Other moms said they hope maybe their children will ask them to do their laundry for them in the student laundry center or clean out their refrigerators. It’s the least they can do for their hard-working kids.

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