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Opinion: Texas Secession Would Benefit Both Parties

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Texans are trying to succeed from the Union.

What?

Yes, says the White House’s official petition website.
The petition reads, “We petition the Obama administration to peacefully grant the State of Texas to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own new government.”

The petition was created Friday, Nov. 9, with a goal of 25,000 signatures. In less than a week, the petition gained over 86,000 online signatures. Although that’s only about .3 percent of the Texas population, the petition has been gaining speed, even after Gov. Rick Perry discouraged signing the petition.

More than that, only 25,000 signatures within 30 days are actually needed to elicit a response from the White House, according to the website.

The Huffington Post reported more than 40 states have created petitions to secede from the union, including Georgia and Alabama.

The petition states that America’s failing economy and budgetary problems are the main reason why Texas ought to secede, as Texas maintains a balanced budget. Any Obama supporter will tell you that this is just a cover for the real reasons – they don’t like Obama and are bitter that their candidate didn’t win (or candidates, ie: Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney).

Being the eternal optimist, I can point out a few benefits of this for both Republicans and Democrats.

For Democrats:

First of all, Texas has about 34 electoral college votes – the second largest number of electoral votes in the nation and the largest number of typically Republican-leaning votes. For a Democrat, saying goodbye to Texas would be a big win for future presidential elections. Also, cutting out one of the largest state populations, Democrats would surely win the popular vote, as well.

Secondly, Texas currently has 32 U.S. representatives in the House of Representatives. That’s a lot of votes on a lot of committees. If progressive Democrats really wanted to push their issues, emptying seats where Texan representatives used to sit on the congressional floor would really pave the way.

And lastly, for the sake of my mild OCD tendencies, if Texas successfully secedes from the Union, then we can make Puerto Rico a state and keep an even number of 50!

For Republicans:

The reasons a secession would be beneficial is probably obvious, but let’s quickly list them in good faith – you can now do anything you want, like death penalty rulings en masse, you can finally put up that electric fence all those pesky Democrats have been whining about and now all your confederate flags will become legitimate. Hooray!

That’s a huge generalization, I know, but no one said opinions needed to be exactly accurate, just ask Todd Adkin.

Obviously, there are a few negative aspects to this, but my contention is that the good outweighs the bad (at least for liberals). Maybe this completely goes against patriotism, Abraham Lincoln and everything America has ever stood for (specifically, we stand “united”), but hey, I’m not losing any sleep at night.

Another possibility would be that Texas goes bankrupt and becomes riddled with poverty in a few years and then comes begging to either borrow money from or rejoin the great country it once called home. The petition says Texas is financially stable, but the amount of residents that work in the public sector or rely on financial or medical support from the government is probably large given its large population.

And let’s just briefly take a minute to ponder the sheer irony that is the final statement of the petition: “… in accordance with the original ideas and beliefs of our founding fathers which are no longer being reflected by the federal government.”

So to you, Texas, I say good luck. Or should I say, Buena suerte.

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