Fast Facts

Party afilliation:
Republican

Highest office held:
Governor of Virginia

Notable quote:
“If we trust in ourselves, our capacity for self-government, our ability to believe in ourselves, there is no hurdle we can’t overcome.”

Jim Gilmore

By Hayley Harding

EDITOR'S NOTE: The following obituary is a satirical piece about the ends of 2016 presidential campaigns. Those who led the campaigns are still very much alive, although their hopes for winning the race to the White House in November have come to an unsuccessful conclusion.

The presidential campaign of Jim Gilmore, known best for being completely unknown, died Feb. 12, 2016. It was 197 days old.

The campaign was born to former Virginia Gov. Jim Gilmore on July 30, 2015 via an almost 11-minute video announcement. The video, which at the time of this publishing has less than 13,000 views, began the greatest uphill battle of the 2016 presidential election.

Gilmore was only invited to two debates (and was in the secondary debate both times), leaving him to live-tweet the events. Those conducting polls frequently left his name off as a candidate altogether, leading to results that consistently showed him controlling zero percent of the American vote.

This problem was amplified during the Iowa caucuses where he recieved only 12 votes, which equals approximately 0.006 percent of the total vote and means he did worse than the “other” category. He didn’t do much better in New Hampshire, where he earned 133 votes. He won fewer votes than several candidates who had already dropped out, a retired school custodian and Vermin Supreme.

His campaign is survived by Gilmore’s verification on Twitter at the end of October, three months after he began his campaign.