Home Opinion Satire AVW Newstime Comedy: Mysterious globe in Schoonover raises questions

AVW Newstime Comedy: Mysterious globe in Schoonover raises questions

3 min read

Athens – With the start of a brand new semester, students are getting back in their academic habits, enjoying Ohio University’s beautiful campus. However, there is one question weighing on everyone’s mind:

Where did that globe in Schoonover come from, and what are those muffled sounds coming from the inside?

The globe a perfect replica of Earth, complete with a wooden stand has baffled students since it suddenly appeared in Schoonover Center. While most students are perfectly content spinning the globe until it scares them when it rocks a little too fast, others are questioning its appearance, and why, if they listen closely, they can hear what sounds like muffled sobbing.

“I was walking by the globe on my way to class one day when I heard someone crying,” Tim Fuller, a junior media student said. “When I took a few steps closer, I heard what sounded like a grown man sobbing, muttering something about The Today Show.”

University officials have stated that the globe was donated by the charity organization “Latt Mauer”, with a note reading “Put this in Schoonover. And by the way, this isn’t Matt Lauer.”

While no information could be found about this mysterious group, students have reported receiving emails in early December from an email account [email protected], reading, “I just need a place to crash for awhile. And by the way, this isn’t Matt Lauer.”

Lauer, an Ohio University alum and Today co-host, is most famous for his segment “Where in the World is Matt Lauer.”

When asked where it came from, the globe responded, “No one is living in here. Please go away. No wait. Bring me some Good Fellas. And by the way, this isn’t Matt Lauer.”

Perhaps we’ll never know the truth behind the mysterious globe.

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